The Un-Becoming
If you are stumbling in the dark, colliding into things and wondering why it isn’t working out, this is for you.
There isn’t much you can do when your life is governed by the conventional mindset of the society. So when Nikhil grew up and consciously started to understand the common phrase ‘The interest of a child doesn’t matter; his ambitions must have monetary value’, he gave up on the worthless hobby of sketching amongst other things, and became a bit more serious about Science and mathematics. He also tried to focus on the one plan he was handed from birth and that was to become a government employee like his parents, which was the only slice of life they trusted on.
And when two roads diverged into the woods, he stumbled
He felt it in his bones. He rushed into the non-medical field to please everyone and then into an engineering degree, all against his heart. What was he to do when he didn’t know any better? But can a bird really take a long flight with the wind?
He dropped out after a year.
And felt like a complete failure to have wasted so much time and money as he was still indecisive of what to do next. Until one day a certain someone asked him to take a psychometric test to understand his capabilities, the results of which proved him to be more of a creative and corporate person than a technical one.
That was the beginning, a sunrise of a sort.
And as the first light shone, he took up admission for BBA at Chandigarh University, a little step towards the corporate world he was destined for. There was a certain sync and warmth in life, he began sketching again.
And as the sun came closer, moving away from the horizon, so did the opportunities in his life, they came knocking one at a time. He volunteered at CU, he participated in many fun competitions, and for him he was soaked in the joy of being involved.
The last light of the sun spilt across the sky making colours and patterns happen. He came across study abroad programs offered by OIR and decided to go for one- Walt Disney Internship Program at Florida, US. His senses felt tangled throughout the application process and he had little faith that he would get through it all with success; after all he was the only one in his entire batch who had applied.
He practiced for the Disney interview with rigor and he got through. And then trained for his visa interview but that big day is different in a bewildering kind of way. It is the final deciding day. You can’t make a small talk like in a normal interview or smile your way or even beg.
As he stepped into the embassy that day, he tried to recollect all the points he would speak and double checked his documents. He could hear the clock ticking against his wrist, the abnormal beat of his heart and no matter what he did his nerves couldn’t stop shaking. He felt it all collect at the bottom of his chest, waiting to explode.
As his turn for the interview came, he took a long deep breath. The worst thing that could happen at this point was him going blank, unable to answer, then them rejecting him because of that and the one year of hard work he put to reach here, all gone under the drain. He would die trying, he promised.
When he stepped forward, he gave out a little greeting and handed out his documents. Shockingly, he wasn’t asked a single question when everyone who went before him was rigidly interviewed. His documents were checked and his passport taken. That was about 30 seconds into the interview and he was asked to leave.
He tried to digest the massive grenade of confusion. He was sure he was rejected. I mean, he wasn’t even given a chance to say his name, they probably saw something that made them decide so quickly.
He came back home, he had no answer to any question, only a little pain in his heart and utter disbelief in his mind. For a whole week he over-thought about it, or rather didn’t know what to think about it.
But only for a week.
Because a week later his passport returned with a visa stamp of the US. No amount of words, no amount of tears could describe what he felt. He was overwhelmed. Everything he wanted was pulled from beyond the horizon, and now stood in front of him.
The magic took place.
In Disney, he entered a new frontier where only a few individuals had ever gone before. Suddenly, he saw the world differently and all that was impossible now became easy to get. He realized that he was a very different person from before; he now knew what his goals were, and for the first time he was sure of himself.
So when he came back, a learned being, he planned to apply for another program that resonated with him, ICTS Program Canada when the time was right.
When the right time came by, he shot his arrow irrespective of the fact that the pandemic was at its peak then. His application was accepted and he began his studies online at first which would later be in physical classes in Canada when the travel permitted.
His life took all the wrong turns to get to the right path.
Finally he was here. This journey wasn’t so much about becoming anything. It was about unbecoming everything that wasn’t really him, so he could be who he was meant to be in the first place.
